an old woman came into Moonbeans apologizing to the staff because she couldn’t buy a drink but wanted to stay inside because of the cold so I bought her a hot chocolate to keep her warm and she held my hand and thanked me sincerely after she finished her drink and said “God bless you” and her hands looked like my Aunt’s and her general aura felt like my Aunt’s and I miss her so bad and I hope that old woman is going to be ok in the cold and I’m very emotional right now oh my god I’m going to cry
Heroes didn’t leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn’t wear boots or capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else’s. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back.
I was lying in the grass looking up at Rico. The sun rays were filtering over his silhouette like a halo and I thought damn. Pause. Click. Rewind. Play. I could see that moment over and over again like a scene from some fucking indie film where he was the perfect boy in a denim jacket and I tiny as the grass we lay on. It had been about 3 hours in, hadn’t felt a hit yet, but that was the moment. Couldn’t feel the sunlight on my skin. Cold. fingertips. toes. Suddenly we’re lying down in a pile of clothes listening to The Doors upstairs and I swear Jim Morrison was speaking to me through the vibrations on my skin. Bliss and fear at the same time. I usually go towards the fear but decided to surrender and ride out the trip wherever it went. I could do nothing but feel and feel and feel and feel. Little tremors and shiver. Shut my eyes swaying back forth back forth gentle swooshing lulling cosmic space carrying my eyes like a pendulum into this comforting blackness. I felt detached from my toes, I could wiggle them but I didn’t feel them. “I have paws” I told Rico. He smiled. The whole time he’s smiling but his eyes are cast with worry but I’m not afraid because it feels too good and I know everything is ok. Fuck. This is why I don’t roll anymore. For this. For it being too good all at once. Rico gets up to go downstairs and I can finally get up from the chair my atoms seemed to have melted into and precariously sway and step sway and step feeling rhythmic peace. I’m dancing alone with Jim Morrison. We go outside to the balcony, my temperature is ice and Rico want’s the sunlight to wake me up. Struggling not to sleep. Trancelike. I looked over the balcony to see Luke, Tramp, and Bailey, his dogs and start to cry. I miss Keesha too much. She was put down on Tuesday. “I have to buy the 3 pack dog treats instead of the 6 pack to give Keesha extras” I cry onto a blue denim shoulder. But the sun is bright and the leaves have a vividness to them that the sober eye can’t seem to catch. I hold onto the bars of the balcony and sway with the trees. I’m a small, tiny, teeny, teensy daisy in a field of clovers smiling up at the sun. Tilting, sliding me down slowly. Like a cloud slowly touching the earth. I wish I could hold those hours in my hand and keep them forever but where did they go? Sitting inside trying to compress the precious time and freeze it somehow. I can feel myself lifting and landing lifting and landing softly, and softer each time. It’s 7:40 now.
im a putlocker man at heart but sometimes you just gotta settle for gorillavid